Sunday, June 8, 2014

It's Been 4 Months

"I have so much to stunt about, I don't know where to start." - Martin Louis King Jr.
 1. This blog got abandoned, not for lack of love, but for lack of effort, but this should not be news to you.
2. I'm in France for 3 weeks and plan on coming back with an accent and an attitude. And with no remorse.
3. Otters tickling the ivories. Should have been happened.

(That one otter was getting it, someone needs to sign him. I'm over human music, we need to get some animals in this record industry game.)

One day I'm gonna get my act together and do right by this blog.


I've had this joint for over 7 years (!!!!) ain't shit changing. Write when I wanna write, and when I don't, catch me on other channels.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014


This is beautiful, thank you sloths. 

Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Valentimes Day

Got introduced to turtle sex at work today. Wish I could unsee this.

Friday, February 7, 2014

You Can Thank Canada For This Post

Because those charming mofos made this PSA re:Gay Winter Olympics, I lol'd, and then couldn't find a link to tweet. So they forced me to do this:

Other Things That I Love Rite Now:

1.) Joe Namath is my new style icon. Not even playing, told a stranger that on the train when she asked me if she could wear leopard print shoes with a blue dress. (The answer is: fuck yes, leopard goes with everything, and if you're gonna dress, then DRAAAAAASSSSS. The gaudier the better. My style icons are legit Asa from Shahs, Draya from LA BBall girls or whatever, and Joe Namath. thnx)

2. ) I may have listened to Beyonce's "Mine" a bagillion times. Like literally, I will have the song on repeat the entire day. Sorry I'm just a lil' bit sorry.

3.) Old journals = real lolz. I've been crate digging through the KMN of yore, and ahahahahahahahahaha. Mad dramatic yo.**

4.) Paper Mag is my spirit animal (or magazine? whatever.) and they did a hilar round-up of Olympic uniforms.

5.) @luvbrasco is my boo.

This post has been bought to you by the winter of our discontent, animal accounts on instagram, the number 8, the smell of nag champa, Twitter, Cooler Cleanse, old lady friday nights, Drake and Canada.

*Ya'll know how I have retro slang disorder? I also have retro pop-culture reference disorder. The other day I referenced Prince William's wedding, AND I DIDN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT IT.

** But mad helpful. You know how you're always stressing about shit? The dust always settles, you always move on, life always continues. Adapt & expand. And because I have a crappy memory, reading it helps. 

Sunday, December 15, 2013

THIS Is Empathy

"Rarely does a response make something better. What makes something better is connection."

Friday, December 13, 2013

Oh Did You Miss Me?

I mean really, I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks Dinky for representing my lifestyle to a T. Working FT and going to grad school FT is no joke*.

 *Actually, it was actually fairly manageable, I just sort of wasn't thinking about the W&G for a min. But no school for the next month huzzah! Holla at an e-player.

Monday, October 7, 2013

YOU Need To Watch This

I know a lot of people who fear failure. I was one of them. I had my revelation sometime a few years ago (which I blogged*) that, in fact, opportunity does not knock on doors. Opportunity kind of plays this flirtatious game of tag, and you better be out to win.

I appreciate this man's frank words about what it means to fail, and his process of identifying what was really holding him back (hint: it's not The Man). This is required viewing for anybody who wants to be able to one day yell "look ma I made it!" It's never too late to become the person you should have been. 

Also, agreed, about 10% of any group of people are cool. The other 90% can suck it.

*Um, that post is from 2010. I've had this blog since 2007. WTF. Oldness.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

@champagnepapi strikes again

I know late last night when you were scrolling IG because you were getting ready for bed or procrastinating from doing what you were really supposed to be doing (as grown folks are want do), your thumb briefly came to rest on this image:

And I know your were confused. Overcome by feelings of unrest and anxiety, you contemplated the obvious:

What the fuck is that shirt?
Why are his lips pursed like that? 
Is A$ap a deacon in the church? 

This is a picture that begs you to question your defense of Drake, your tireless effort, repeating like a mantra "yea he's emo, but you can't argue that his music isn't good!"

It baits you. clown him. Clown Him. CLOWN HIM.

These feelings are not unfamiliar to me. I too have thought these thoughts, felts these things.

Lo, a revelation on high released me from my anxiety: We are being trolled.

Yes, America, what you are witnessing is an expert social media and marketing plan based in the hallowed tradition of "lunchin" "clownin" "Goin in" "ribbin" et. al.

Drake wants us to clown him. This is a set up.

That album cover alone I mean... come on. You can't be serious.

That heartfelt performance at the VMAs. Breh.

That photoshoot for GQ. Like really doe?

And THOSE PURSED LIPS. *no words*

This, people, is how you troll your way to a billion dollars.

Friday, September 13, 2013

The Proper Way To Pray

1. Find a Bathroom. Preferably a public one, at work say, but any old bathroom will do.
It's a little known fact that the toilet is the perfect place to pray, serving both as a metaphorical and literal display to God that you are "about to show your ass." It also serves as a humble reminder of your piousness, and your vulnerability before the Lord - it takes a bold motherfucker to act aloof on the toilet.

2. State your thank yous. As we all know, no one likes a greedy askhole. If you're in a rush (and lets face it, you're praying in a public bathroom, so shit's about to get real), it's okay to just run through the basics - thanks for life, presence, toilet paper, or my favorite catch all "all that you have done." Lazy, but hey, we're trying to cover bases here, not one-up the lord's prayer.

3. Beg. Try to come at it from a confident place like "I know you see what's going on here, and that I'm freaking out, but yea, I know you're gonna fix it, so I'm just checking in as a friendly reminder that I'm freaking out over here."
If you can't muster the confidence angle, repeating please multiple times is the prayer equivalent of marking an email as high importance. We all know the power that little red exclamation point brings (at least us archaic microsoft outlook users).

4. Thank again. The final thank you is the handshake of prayer, a sort of "nice doing business with you God" gesture. Note here, that if you'd like to be fastidious in your bases covering, you might also add in a "perhaps my way isn't the best way, so if you chose to not go with my preferred plan of action, I defer to your expertise, for you are God, and I am often dumb."

5. Amen. And flush. Even if you didn't pee or anything. You don't want other people in the bathroom to think you nasty.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

A Healthy Dose Of Kanye Love

Yeezus is slow growing on me, but that doesn't diminish my love. Long live Kanye.


Related Posts with Thumbnails