I Am Doing Something Exciting And Scary

At the same time ya'll.

At the same time.

Creating things has always been my heart.*

So recently I submitted one of my many ideas to The Figment Festival, and they liked it, and they welcomed it into their event.

My idea is well on it's way to becoming a real live thing, the Selfie Portrait Project.

However, now I'm in the very uncomfortable and awkward and exciting phase of trying to make this idea come out of my head and into the real world.

It isn't pretty.

In the 6 (!!) years that I've had this blog, I've tried to expose my insecurities, my doubts, my shortcomings and faults.

Not just because I have an affinity for self-deprecating humor (though I do), but because people exposing their faults and insecurities comforts me. Part of the "power" that insecurities hold is their isolating nature - I'm the "only" and the "most," everyone else is zooming through life on their ten-speed, and here I am in the back wobbling on my trike like an absolute tool.

But these things aren't true.

Everybody's struggling in one way or another. Everybody's got insecurities, doubts and shortcomings. And when I realize that, I don't feel so lonely or ashamed anymore. And it helps me look that thing in the eye that's scaring me, intimidating me from doing and becoming, and realize that it's not so powerful, because other people have been here and overcome it. I don't have to be ashamed that I'm here, and, more importantly, I don't have to stay here.

So, naturally, with this project, this big thing that I've never done, the temptation to drop it and run screaming from the possibilities is OH SO TEMPTING. Like chocolate cake with chocolate frosting tempting. just. one. bite.

But nope.

Not gonna happen.

Instead, I'm going to have to face down those things that scare me:
1. self-promotion
2. asking for help.

Which is all to say, I need your help. You, who may browse this blog once in a while, get a chuckle, think I'm weird, whatever.

I've got 13 days to raise $1400. Right now, I'm about 1/3 of the way there. I only slightly want to hide under my bed.

Help me make my dream a reality. Help me to become the person I've always known I was, but was too scared to actually act out.

Support the Selfie Portrait Project on Kickstarter.

It's a little good karma into the world, and it will come back to you, for sure.

*I wanna say artist. I'm still working on my bravery ya'll. 

How I'm Handling Every Situation These Days

I kid you not, it's like a non-stop dance party in my life right now. Bad day? You better dance bitch. Good day? You better dance bitch. Alone in the elevator? Show them security cams what you're working with.

I was late for work the other day because I had a rough morning and had to dance to get into a better mood.

It's a lifestyle people.

Morning Meditation

Current Obsession: Fantasizing About Summer With This

over and over and over again, dreaming about summer in BK... c'mon motherfucker.

And obsessing about launching my kickstarter page. with a video. my world is changing. 

The Weekly Gifts From The Internet

Dear Ya'll,

Based God Internet was very generous this week, blessing us with so many delightful things like:

'Roided ferrets being sold as poodles. This is beyond generous, based god internet. I can stare at this picture infinitely and see the very soul of life, where one would repurpose an animal as worthless as a ferret (yea, I said it), into something passable like hulk mad poodle. Honestly, I want a 'roided ferret so bad now.

Calming manatees. Of course. OF COURSE.

A cat in a sock? Why yes, that sounds lovely.

Someone made an online directory of all the gif reactions you could ever imagine. HYFR!

In Which I Take a Moment For @Iamdiddy...

Ya'll. Perhaps you have gotten hints of it before, in casual conversation, in written posts, in ghost tweets, and long hazy diatribes, but allow me to make a formal motherfucking statement: I fucking love P.Diddy (or Diddy, or Sean Combs, or Puffy... whoever the fuck he is this month).

He is what I like to call one of the coachroaches of hip hop, an esteemed club of artists who, no matter what the situation or occassion, WILL NEVER EVER GO AWAY.

He is the king of reinvention, a genius at manipulating the media, inserting himself into whatever is "hot now," always elevating his personal brand to remind you that HIS TALENTS ARE NOT TO BE TOUCHED NOR RIVALED.

I wouldn't trust him with my career AT ALL, but I have to say, I respect his hustle spirit.
Like how the fuck did he insert himself into a Brittney Spears remix? How I ask you. HOW???

All he did was yell and make sure there was good product placement.

But he's a crafty motherfucker. And I respect that.

AND HE'S "DATING" KATE UPTON NOW.  Talk about a pop culture fame troll, way to bait 'em Dids!

I'm not even going to be ashamed to say it: I fucking love his music. I stan for Danity Kane, Press Play was a solid album, and Diddy Dirty Money's album is STILL IN ROTATION for me. Solid from start to finish.

No, I wouldn't work for him, and I doubt I'd even want to meet him, but I SEE YOU P.DIDDY. And I like what I see.

Fin.

[Note: We need to have a longer convo about B. Spears. But my brain just cannot compute her anymore. Shadow dancer of her former self. Also:
1. WTF Waka? WTF. Your verse was trash (not that anyone was really trying here, but you ruined what could have been an adequate club song.
2. Is Lil' Wayne growing bangs? ]

WAAAAAAAY Overdue For This

SQUIRREL POST! SQUIRREL POST! SQUIRRELLLLLLLL POOOOOOOOSSSSTT!

My three favorite things (miniatures, squirrels, and anthropomorphization) lobbed into one photoshoot??

YES. PLEASE. MOAR.

[Ed Note: Don't ya'll love how incredibly alluring my headlines are these days?? And are you ever slightly disappointed when it's not what you thought it was going to be?? Yes, welcome to my 9 to 5, where I write headlines nearly EVERY DAMN DAY. You're welcome!]

Annoying But Probably True

The only times that I'm super cranky and will not apologize for it:
1. Hungry
2. Sleepy
3. Cold

I've been known to love on the snooze button periodically throughout my life. Now I know he's a shitty lover who only causes more harm than good. So long fucker.

An Important Moment in Pop Culture History

I've been haunted by a Debarge song I heard in a coffee shop (why a coffee shop was playing 80s pop is beyond me), and in an internet search I came across this little gem. Let us reflect on the:

hairspray
excessive satin
long blazers
the kid with the video camera

And the general sitcom awesomeness of a pop star magically appearing in the life of some "average people" and recording music with them (hello Stevie Wonder). It was probably a big deal to have Debarge on Facts of Life, and it was probably a career highlight for him. Those were the days.

(And no, this isn't a April fools joke, I have had a Debarge song in my head for over a week)

WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE

Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement from Bless Bless Productions on Vimeo.

Why wouldn't you let 2 nice old ladies get married? What type of heartless asshole would say "no old ladies, though ya'll are very cute and adorable and love each other very much and one of you is about to DIE so it doesn't really matter anyway, we won't let you legally declare what you've basically been doing for the past 45 years."
There are much more important things - the fact that we're killing the planet on which we live, so all of these futile arguments we have won't matter if we all die due to our own selfish wants, the fact that we are killing each other at such astonishing rates that we've become indifferent to murder as a whole, the fact that we have these rampant incurable diseases tearing down whole communities at astonishing rates, the fact that compassion has been demoted as a universal practice - that we as a kind should be debating than whether two consenting adults can sign a piece of paper and file taxes together. Give me a fucking break. Stop wasting my time stupid lawmakers and legalize gay marriage already so we can get back to shit that actually matters.