Saturday, February 24, 2007

Polow Da Don... You're in Time Out.



Chances are you've been rocking out to Polow's beats for a minute. The rapper/producer has cooked up such recent bangers as Ciara's "Promise", Fergie's "London Bridges" and "Glamorous", and Ludacris' "Runaway Love". But he most famously (to me at least) produced performed and appeared in my shyt, Rich Boy's "Throw Some D's". Yes, he's the dumb fool that drops the 2nd verse in the back of the caddy full of random ass "Sweet Valley High" broads (I'm saying, just cause you had to have white chicks doesn't mean you had to go snatch Becky out of chem lab. The trick couldn't even bob in time!).

Now if you're like me, you must be thinking "Damn! That fool's beats go hard!". Of course they do. That's the sweet b*tch slap of life otherwise know as the "If-loving-you-is-wrong-i-don't-want-to-be-right" conundrum. But trust me kids, you want to be right on this one. This dude Polow claims that in high school he was "the good looking pretty-boy that played sports and would whoop your ass."

Now Jamal (yes, that's the government), I'm no Dr. Phil, but you might recall a popular epithet of the masses - don't talk about it, be about it. Or as a good friend often proclaims "whatever you think you are, you're not." In short sir, if you have to tell me you grew up as the "pretty-boy" in high school, here's what you're really saying "I wasn't cute. I got no play. The only reason white girls would bone is cause the dumb ones fed into the big d*ck theorem."
I won't even touch on how he was born into a middle class home but still wants to communicate images of thuggery.
Jamal "Polow Da Don" Jones, go to the corner.
"You embarrass me, you embarrass yourself."

Friday, February 16, 2007

Kidz Bop is Crazy

This video confused both me and my 20 month old brother. perhaps we're not the target demographic.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Beyonce y Sasha!!

Ok, so Beyonce decided to do a song with her split personality, Sasha. Apparently Sasha is hispanic, and nearly went toe to toe with B over some scheming dude.

Luckily sisterhood prevails (*yawn*).

I basically think this song's whack, but I crack up that Beyonce shouts herself out twice in one song, once as herself and once as her split personality.

Additionally, she has/is(?) remaking this song with a real latina, Shakira.

Beyonce - Beautiful Liar

Dame Dash is a D*ckhead...

"If an 11 year old were to immitate Cam'ron, they'd be on their way to becoming a CEO of a company." - Dame Dash

Yea. Right.

Watch Cam and Dame embarass themselves, hip hop, and the African American community on Bill O'Reilly...

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

WTF?


It's always been my motto that in the winter, I can't be cute and warm, it's one or the other. Naturally, I eschew vanity for the sake of my health. However when everyone in the subway system wants to walk around looking like they wandered off the set of "Davey Crockett: An American Hero", and still raise their head high like they're reinventing fashion, one has to stop and wonder: what the fuck?

Luckily, I'm not alone. Gawker pondered the same thing, and put the girlies at Fashionista to the task.

Here's what they found:

"Suzanne Karotkin, Harper's Bazaar fashion editor: It's fun to be colorful and sporty, especially with so much black and gray at the shows. My hat makes me feel a bit like I'm in Aspen, on some fabulous vacation... not freezing and in New York!"


I love how fashion people can take something normally hideous and make it high end. However if they'd like to tout function over form, I suggest they bring back full body snow suits. Them joints was hella warm, and I'd love to see the stillettoed fashionistas tottle down the street pretending they didn't look idiotic.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Snatchies!


Me talk prettie one day...

Wiii!! We're working out!

The most important part of the superbowl? The commercials.

You think Marcy Projects is gangsta? Try Russia...

Monday, February 5, 2007

My condolences...


Hey bears fans, you fought the good fight. Chin up Charlie, there's always next year...

I'm at a loss for this one...


Hate it or love it (*giggle giggle, pun pun*), you have to give 50 Cent credit. He's innovative in his efforts to cross-promote himself into oblivion. I mean, the guy has a flavor of Vitamin Water and was bold enough to pose with a little dog to promote the shit. Then he's coming out with his own line of condoms, because even ganstas gots ta strap up.

And if 50 Cent's memoir "From Pieces to Weight" left you wanting more, fear not my psuedo-intelligent street thugs, 50's got a line of street fiction books to wet your palate for pedestrian plots and dull dialogue. Combining with legendary street authors such as Nikki Turner and Noire, his first two titles feature such cliche subtitles as:

STREET JUSTICE WASN'T HIS WAY.
BUT FOR HIS OLDER BROTHERS,
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY.

ONE REASON TO LIVE.
THREE REASONS TO DIE.

And to add insult to injury, there's more on the horizon. From MTV.com:
"50 Cent is teaming with Pocket Books for a new volume called "The 50th Law." The book will be a collaborative project by 50 and strategy guru Robert Greene, whose "The 48 Laws of Power" is a popular pick in the hip-hop world. "

Pump your breaks kiddies, this "knock-out collabo" won't be available until 2008. But in the meatime you can purchase any of "Fiddies" (Throwing Up In Mouth) other G-Unit books at any fine bookstore near you.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Puff, puff, pass... J*Davey


Anyone who knows me, like knows me knows me, knows I am crazy about J*Davey.

I found these two on a random internet jaunt, and have been blasting their shit ever since.

They've got the kind of nasty electro-soul that makes me want to slid down a pole (and apparently rhyme too). They describe themselves as the musical love child of Prince and Grace Jones. I dig it.

Peep their myspace page for some more of their musical genius, but in the meantime here's one of my favorite tracks to have and to hold, to enjoy forever and ever, amen.

J*Davey - Private Parts

Snatchies!

Hey Ladies, stop making out with girls, you're making the real lesbians mad...

And fellas, if you see me coming at you with a plate of fish, trust our love will last forever...

Congratulations, you just got out of rehab! Want to pose nude? No, not you, you!

They deserve to win

I don't usually give a damn for the Super Bowl (unless the Bills are playing), but with a gem like this, how could you not root for the Bears? And if we're lucky, maybe if they win they can do a Super Bowl Shuffle 2007...

Your dog wants you to stop smoking

This commercial makes me oddly sad. I think it's the creepy music. If I smoked and I had a dog who asked me to stop, I would, but not because he asked, only because if my dog was talking to me, it was probably time to stop smoking anyway.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

GET IT GURL!


I'm a lil' late, but I'd like to extend a very happy seventh anniversary to Prince Maximilian and Princess Angela of Lichtenstein. Now I usually don't get into the whole royalty thing, but when a sista becomes the first black ACKNOWLEDGED member (Prince Albert of Monaco ain't shit) of an European royal family, especially one in which they're heirs to a $4.6 billion fortune, well, I got to tip my beret to her. Get it gurl!






And how cute is their kid???

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