Saturday, July 28, 2007

Email Diaries

As the saying goes "idle hands are the devil's workshop" and never are my hands as idle as when I'm at work, ironically enough. Consequently, many of my friends were subject to my lunacy in the workplace. Here are our stories.

From: the perp
Sent: Tuesday, May 15, 2007 6:44 PM
To: the victim
Subject: You leave work way too early...

Happy early wednesday.

Now for one, get your laugh on with this:

I had tears in my eyes.

#2, I want you to check out this rhyme I wrote. Yes, I am a low key (of
the lowest key) an MC. It's called "Golden Delicious". I'm thinking of
writing more raps for a mixtape tentatively titled "Fruit of the Loon".
Let me know what you think.

I saw you hangin round a tree the other day/ Looking so damn fly I had
to pause and make way/ Golden colored skin with the cutest little
dimples/ Who knew falling in love could be this simple?//

I take pause and check my wallet/
I wanted you so bad I knew I had to call it/ Strolled up real smooth and
looked the brother in the eye/ And asked how much for that golden
delicious apple on the side?//

I held you in my hand so smooth and so sweet/ I knew I was bout to enjoy
this tasty delicious treat/ I closed my eyes as my teeth sunk in/ I knew
right then I had a lover and a friend//

Golden Delicious/
So good nutritious/
My tasty little lover/
My tasty little friend//

Golden delicious/
So good nutritious/
My tasty little lover/
My tasty little friend//

Yes, I do have too much time on my hands.

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