Thursday, July 17, 2008

Ahh yes, the hate is strong with you young kemosabe.



I know hate. How? Because I am a hater.

I'm not necessarily proud of this, however you know they say the first step is realizing you have a problem. I've been hating since I popped the bottle out my mouth, tossing witty barbs since I saw my first episode of Full House and peeped that that Stephanie Tanner had that hate game proper! F*ck Steve, it's all about Mister Bear (gon' head get your imdb on)!

I digress.

As a gift of being a hater, I can sense when others have hate strong within them as well. Take Essence magazine for example. In a slightly odd twist (as this mag has never given me edgy) to compliment their gay, straight or taken selection of "bachelors" for their 2008 "Do Right Men" listing, they have also created daily "Do Wrong Men" selections as well.

Um, okaaay... seems a little gratuitous and a haterade convention. So I partook. And who's week one?

Lebron James.

*scratches head*

huh?

According to Essence.com, James' offenses include posing with Giselle Bunchen, not signing a letter, and driving 101 mph. Oh. Ok. Yea, yea, he definitely is no good. Call the lynch mob, this one's got to go. Speeding? Photos? Letters? Homie you're too far gone, come back. Full link here.

Beware what the fashion future may hold...

So, I like to thrift shop. The way I see it, if retro is going to be in, why pay $30 for an old-looking dress when I can pay $4 for a real old dress?

That didn't come out right.

Either which way, if you want to go retro, thrifts are where it's at. Especially the mega-thrift Amvets in Buffalo, where I stocked up on many a cute retro looks for only $40 total.

So then I'm in my kitchen, about to cut the shoulder pads out of this dress, when that still quiet fashionable voice inside me says, "You're going to wish you didn't do that one day." I gasped no, it couldn't possibly be true! But then the visions began to spread over me like a blanket, tucking me in for my eventual sartorial nightmare. The peg leg jean. The high waisted pant. Wedges. And then, this picture flashed in my mind.



Not you Samantha! Sex and the City why hast thou forsaken me? Why must all things old be new again? I am not a linebacker! This is not astroturf! I, we, the American fashionable, do not deserve this! Make it be untrue.

And so I do what I always do when I feel panicked and confused. I google.

Then this:



ALL from 2008 fashion shows.

And there's more. Google "shoulder pads 2008 fashion" and you'll see the rumblings of a fashion devolution beginning.

I can't. Please God. Make there be a fashion calamity that wipes out all the ludicrousness that is shoulder pads, or shoulder pad inspired. We deserve better.

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