Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I'd probably be safer to talk about someones momma than to speak against the beloved B, but I'm just going to say it - something about Beyonce just ain't right.
She's like your beloved Teddy Ruxpin (may he rest in peace); cute concept, adorable fun, but the fact of the matter is that bear wasn't fooling nobody. He was as illiterate as R. Kelly.
So when Beyonce decided to drop a remix and vid with Lady Gaga, consider this a warning: count the money on the nightstand before she leaves Lady Gaga, because once Beyonce's gone, she's gone forever.
Need I remind anyone of the Beyonce Shakira collabo? Flash in the pan, never to be seen again.
Beyonce sees a trend and capitalizes on it like 90 going west. Latin explosion? Get me the nearest hot Latina(didn't it creep you out how similar they looked??)! The gays are at the forefront of attitude and style? Surely imitation (without acknowledgement) is the highest form of flattery. Everybody being oddly different now? Get me Lady Gaga!
Seriously, this collaboration is awkward. Lady Gaga, who you kidding - you rather be somewhere rolling around in pig's blood than pretending to be a white version of Beyonce.
And Beyonce, who you kidding - you trying to swagger jack Rihanna.
Yes, the video has riveting visuals. But Beyonce's ravenous tenacity for success by any means necessary, posed against her boring as hell "who me, the southern belle?" public persona exhausts me. Surely I don't want to limit an artist's ability to be inspired by the things around them, but when you do it and then try to fake like it was a completely original and innocuous creative innovation... well that's just whack, and it brings to question just how much of an "artist" you really are.
So my question is... who's next on the Beyonce gravy train of exploitation success?