Thursday, December 31, 2009

Good Riddance to 2009

New Years happens to be one of my least favorite holidays of the year. It’s a lot of hype to me – in reality every day is a new year, a new opportunity to fix something you broke. No reason to put it off. Conversely there’s no reason to put all your change eggs in one basket – half the reason resolutions don’t stick is that we ignore who we were for the past 365 and expect to live the next 365 as a completely new person. Change tends to be a lot slower, and we should be more gentle with ourselves.

Regardless, I do think there is something to having a sense of resolve about your life and where you want it to go. Last year I declared 2009 as the year of the big sloppy wet mistake. I figured it was the best way to get this life thing started, to stop being afraid of messing up and just mess it up.

I excelled in spades. With all the grace of a bull in a china shop I acted impulsively, I fucked up, I loved irresponsibly, I made the same mistake twice (for good measure, of course). In short, I did a lot of things wrong. Most times it wasn’t intentional, but I figure I did it wrong so maybe next time I have a better chance of doing it right. It’s the only honest way, in my opinion.

It’s tempting to be embarrassed by mistakes. But no one’s perfect. Life is live to tape, so we improvise. We love blindly when our eyes need to be wide open, we love with our eyes too alert when we need to just let go and fall. We think things are bad and they only get worse. We are amateurs.

I got a lot of living under my belt this year, and it goes without saying that I am very very very glad to see 2009 to the door. Thanks for everything, it’s been real. In 2010 I’d like to see some changes. Not so much resolutions, but more so “notes to self”, reminders how to be more present in my life.

“Notes to Self” for 2010:

1. Dance when you feel like it. No point in waiting for an invitation.
2. Tell the truth, to others and most importantly, to yourself. And not just when it counts, all the time.
3. Say yes more, but only when you mean it.
4. Create something, anything, everyday.
5. Do not apologize for being who you are. Perfection is boring and non-existent, so you might as well accept your flaws.

Finally, Sia’s new single from her forthcoming album “We Are Born.” The song’s called “You’ve Changed.” Life is always going to send you curveballs to make you adapt and change. The goal is to change for the better through all things, good or bad. Good luck with your change in 2010.

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