Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Is Tyler Perry the new Oprah?



Tyler Perry made news and won considerable praise this past weekend when it was announced that he would pay for the rebuilding of an 88-year-old's burned home out of his own pocket.

Incredibly kind acts like this beg the question: In the future, in the tradition of patron saints of the black community, will there be digital photo frames in thousands of black homes displaying Obama, Oprah and Tyler Perry?

It's becoming a real possibility. Love him or hate him, Tyler Perry is one of the most influential African-Americans of the decade, and quite possibly the male version of Oprah Winfrey.

Read more at TheGrio!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Welcome back Chris Brown?


It’s official – Chris Brown is ready to be welcomed back to his former throne of celebrity and success. The pop star recently tweeted a photo of the certificate he received after completing a 52-week online domestic violence education program, saying simply “I’m done with class.” Seems like Chris Brown’s ready to put all this assault and battery stuff behind him… but are we?

Read more at TheLoop21.com!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Why are we still supporting R. Kelly?



Americans are a forgiving people, especially when it comes to celebrities. You can go to jail, murder a man, break the law and double back for more, and yet in the end we will readily welcome you back into the fold of celebrity with an apology and a meager explanation.

Is there anything we won't forgive? Any length that our celebrities and entertainers can go to which we will realize that forgiving their trespasses isn't a requirement, and even if forgiven, that doesn't necessarily mean they should be returned to the thrown of wealth and fame.

Like R. Kelly for example. Allegedly caught urinating on a 14-year-old girl in a sex tape that surfaced in 2002, the R&B superstar was exonerated by a jury of his peers six years later, thanks to a defense that boiled down to "it wasn't me."

Kudos to Kelly's very talented lawyers to pulling off that one. Under our judicial system Kelly is an innocent man and should be able to continue life as such. And yet when I see him working the late night talk show circuit, promoting his new album Love Letter it doesn't sit well with me. Why are we still supporting R. Kelly?

Read more at TheGrio.com!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

All Dog Nativity Scene

Image via Bestweekever.com

This couldn't make me happier. I've never seen a more miserable pack of dogs reenact one of the most important moments in history. And one wise donkey who decided he'd played the ass long enough.

Merry X-Mas Ya'll. Make sure to thank lil' baby puppy Jesus for all your many blessings.

Friday, December 24, 2010

WTF Toy: Vampy Trashy Toy Dogs

The famed Mix Pups

On one hand: at least they're not people.

On the other: do dogs really need this treatment? Really, the one dog has the same haircut as T-boz. What kind of shit are they making kids play with these days?

via www.backinthesaddle.com

This, however, is just south of awesome. A wee bit too weird to ever really purchase, but you have to give it to the toy designer for ambitiously blending the "I want a bike" "I want a pony" wish. Almost the best of both worlds.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Maino and Ed Lover Are Taking Twitter Beef to the Streets



It sounds like the beginning of a corny joke: so Maino and Ed Lover walk into a mall... But it's true. The two were cruising the food court and decided to confront an unwitting Twitterer who gave a disparaging Tweet to the million-dollar Maino.

Now I'mma be very careful with my word choice right now, because unlike the doe-eyed girl in this video, I saw Maino on MTV's World of Jenks and know the man takes any and every offense seriously. Many a fool have been black-eyed for eating Maino's last Twinkie.

So a disclaimer: Maino, in no way am I saying you are wrong for handling this "beef."

However, it is strong to confront a girl in the mall because she tweeted something about no one wanting your autograph. Honestly, Twitter is a shit talking vehicle, and everyone knows it. The internet was invented for shit-talkers, and many of us have capitalized on this endeavor by becoming bloggers.

But Maino was it really necessary to run up on ol' girl because she said no one cared about you? If you spend every moment confronting haters and the like, you won't have any time to continue to build a career they can hate on. Not to mention I believe you should respond to beef in the medium in which it was started - don't be jumping fools over tweets! That's like when dummies started killing each other over battle tracks. It's not that serious. Go to Smoothie King, chill in the food court, and don't let some chick from LI steal your joy.

I guess this video is a cautionary tale to all the Tweeps... never talk shit about someone who has nothing better to do than run around making sure no one talks shit about them.  I must admit, both men look kind of petty for confronting a random person over a Tweet. Really? We're settling beefs that small now?

PS Maino - But was she right? Did anyone ask for your autograph? I'm just curious. You can't hate on the tweeted truth...

Friday, December 10, 2010

How far would you go on reality TV?


Reality shows aren't real. I know because I used to help make them. I've sat in meetings where development executives would create plotlines long before the show was even cast. I watched as producers coached reality stars on what they were supposed to say and do in a scene. Nothing that you see on reality shows is completely organic, that would cost too much money.

Scenes have to be decorated and lit, stars have to be mic'd and made up, extras have to be cast and legally cleared. Reality shows are more like low-budget and loosely scripted sitcoms, with one very important distinction -- the characters are supposed to be portraying themselves.

Whereas your favorite soap opera star can murder off a lover in one episode, and still peacefully go grab coffee the next day without getting accused of being a killer, there is no line between the fake and real on reality shows. We the viewer are supposed to believe everything we see, and consequently a star's personal life is their profession. If something monumental happens, a burgeoning reality star must capitalize on the moment by leaking the news to top gossip blogs and selling an "exclusive" of the story to Us Weekly. Publicity stunts aren't just the norm, they're a requirement for reality TV stars.

Read more at Thegrio.com!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

What if Jesus were white?


It feels like a silly question, and yet it is something that has been debated for decades. What color is Jesus?

It always seemed like a convenient coincidence that early crusading Christians promoted an image of a blue-eyed blonde-haired Jesus, even despite the fact that he is from a region of the world where that combination is hard to come by.

Nevertheless in all of the most prominent and well-known images of Christianity, there is Jesus, with his mane of golden hair and fair skin.

It is an individual's decision whether or not to dwell on the skin color of Jesus. When I was a kid, I was transfixed and defensive of my Jesus' race -- of course he was black! But as I got older, I learned to let this go. I try to focus more so on what he said, and not what he looked like.

Not to mention that debating the race of Christ seems futile. If Jesus were black or white, it would be hard to prove it either way, right? It's not like anyone has met him and lived to tell the (reputable) tale.

But leave it to Fox News to get the inside track on the afterlife. Recently they featured young tween author Colton Burpo, who, in his new book "Heaven is for Real", claims to have been to heaven and met Jesus. So what does God's right-hand man look like? According to Colton, he had a rough, but kind face, sea blue eyes, and a smile that lit up the heavens.

Wait a second kiddo did you say blue eyes? Sorry, but you must have him confused with someone else. Jesus isn't white.

Now, let's just suspend reality for a second, exclude the debate of whether this kid is telling the truth and just assume that he is. So what if Jesus actually was white?

Read more at TheLoop21.com!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

To Victoria's Secret, re: Your fashion show


Dear Victoria's Secret,

Congratulations on another amazing show of beautiful women wearing fantastically impractical lingerie. This year your fashion show brought 9 million American viewers to CBS -- your largest audience in seven years! There was a breath-taking brigade of 34 models, six of whom were of color (and I'm including lone Asian model Liu Wen as a numbers boost). I'm not complaining -- Chanel Iman, Selita Ebanks, and Lais Ribeiro contributed an impressive 18 percent of boobs of color to your show. Lord knows how "difficult" it is to find decent models of color, so one behalf of the colored population of the world, I thank you.

And what a theme! "A Night of a Thousand Fantasies" featured six different themes to represent different types of women: heavenly bodies, pink, country girls, game on, tough love and wild things. The costumes were wonderfully creative and inventive, but one of the more notable scenes in your show was the "wild" segment, where, no doubt coincidentally, the models of color were prominently featured.

That was an accident, right?

Read more at Thegrio.com!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Where Children Sleep

A striking book by James Mollison that chronicles various "bedrooms" of children around the world. The stark contrasts are disturbing, but thanks to the creative presentation this book helps to highlight inequality across the globe. Here are a few photos from Mollison's book Where Children Sleep.




Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Tumbleweave: A Poem


This truly is the case of being a poet and I didn't know it. Pontificating upon the curious cases of tumbleweave littering Brooklyn, I was struck with a creative inspiration from God. BEHOLD! Tumbleweave: A Poem.

Where do the tumbleweave go?
Is there no hair onto which they can sew?
No scalp wither to pretend to grow?
Nary an aid for the folically po'?

Why do the tumbleweave leave?
Is it an insult to be a weave?
Do they exit with a giant heave?
Searching for sidewalks on which to cleave?

Wither pony will you no longer tail?
Released from your sewn in jail -
Will you thrive in a birds nest, or just fail?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Trailer Fail: Jennifer Hudson's "Winnie" Biopic


Maybe they did it for the money.That's what it had to be. Why else would two "just ok" actors decide to take on characters as challenging, iconic and complex as Nelson and Winnie Mandela?

Or maybe it isn't their fault. The trailer for the new movie Winnie was recently leaked, and the results are more than a little disappointing -- so who's going to take the blame?

The film, based upon the life of Winnie Mandela, was first announced, with Jennifer Hudson and Terrence Howard in the staring roles, people were surprised, to say the least. But now that the trailer is out, it seems that everyone's apprehensions have been confirmed -- this looks like a really bad movie.

Read more at Thegrio.com!

Do women make bad friends?


There's a statement I've heard some women say that always makes me cringe - "I don't have a lot of female friends." What usually follows that sentence are explanations like, "they're catty" or bring "too much drama" or worse, "they're jealous."

It hurts me to hear women generalize and stereotype each other, and I can't help but wonder if women who make these types of statements are the source of the problem. If you can't find a way to get along with a variety of women, wouldn't that make the common denominator you?

Read more at TheLoop21.com!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

It's my birthday & this the perfect gif

Photobucket

I like to imagine they're dancing to "whoomp there it is." It seems fitting.

That was the song my subconscious dj selected for my bday. I've been thoroughly enjoying all morning.



PS - After the brontosaurus left, they played "who let the dogs out" and laughed at his misfortune. A brontosaurus going to a T-rex disco, honestly! Then the brontosaurus came back and burned the disco down, Carrie-style, and they all died. Sad really, all little arms should be united.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

The whole purpose of this post is to figure out who is crazy



Do you believe Jay-Z is in the Illuminati? If so, click here.

Honestly, if he even was, why would I care? Why would anyone care? He's influential, but he's not the president. His power only goes so far. And wouldn't his "blatant clues" sort of ruin the whole purpose of a secret society? I mean, suspects of a society that no one is supposed to know exists shouldn't be obvious. We should all be giving a side-eye to Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift. Maybe THEY'RE Illuminati. But affiliating a prominent placement of skull and bones with membership to a secret society? I think not. (For the record, I own a skull and bones shirt, plus they're on my iphone cover so... I'm probably in the illuminati and the membership perks just haven't come through yet?)

I believe it's very possible that Jay is agnostic or even atheist, but a devil worshiper? Stretch.

That said, I recently did a piece on Jay not being Illuminati for The Grio. Nothing new was revealed, but the comments let me know that crazy conspiracy theorists are alive, well, and have any and all Illuminati affiliated commentary on Google alert.

Excerpt:
"This is horrible journalism [ED NOTE: it was an opinion piece, not reported journalism] because you seem to ignore some of the key points that lead people to believe Jay-Z is in the Illuminati. It seems pretty obvious to me that you would rather dismiss the clear evidence of Jay-Z participating in some type of group rather than going on factual information.... if he's not worshiping the devil then what is he worshiping? Why don't you ask your expert that."

Read the full article, and the craziness that followed, at TheGrio.com.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

How to Cook Squirrel


Rough break for my four-legged friends. First they're being prosecuted for refusing medical treatment, now people in the UK are cooking them like fine delicacies. This pains me - how could you ever eat anything so cute?


This finished product looks straight up like some hobo cuisine.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Angry Black Man is Your New Dating Counselor


So it turns out black men are feeling some type of way about the state of dating and marriage in the black community. The majority consensus said marriage was a black woman’s problem – there’s too many of us, we’re smarter than our male counterparts, and more successful. Logically it follows that if you are an educated black man, you should have the pick of the litter.

However a new crop of online animated videos have emerged giving voice to a frustrated population of men who feel like when it comes to dating black women, they are often being held up to unrealistic and unattainable expectations.

Read more at TheLoop21.com!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Kanye's Runaway: A Work of Art


There's nothing Kanye West won't try. If it speaks to him as an artist, if he feels it's important to the conversation, if he wants everyone to pay attention, Kanye isn't afraid to do whatever it takes to accomplish that task. In that tradition, this past weekend Kanye West unveiled his most ambitious project to date. After premiering at screenings around the world, Kanye released his greatly anticipated long form music video, Runaway, on MTV, MTV2, and BET this past weekend. The story is of a phoenix (portrayed by breakout star and former Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks) who falls to the earth, and falls in love with Kanye, only to realize that she cannot bear the close-minded nature of this planet, and must return in flames to her own world.

It is as heady as it sounds. Though cinematically beautiful, the short film is wrought with metaphors that can feel equally forced and confusing. Is it about Amber Rose? His Ex-fiance? His career? According to Kanye, you can mark it as all of the above.

Read on at TheGrio.com!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Happy Monday: The Dark Side of A Toy's Story

I've always been fascinated by the secret life of toys. According to advertising company DDB, your toys are some badasses when you're not looking.





 [images via I believe in advertising]

Friday, October 22, 2010

Photo Look-A-Like: 50 Cent & Souljah Boy's XXL Cover




Seem's like 50 & Souljah did the "prison lock up" version of the famous GMHC ad... hey, they more we can raise awareness, the better!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Is Willow Smith Too Young To be Famous?


Most over Justin Bieber. Sit down Miley Cyrus. The newest tween pop juggernaut has been crowned, and her name is Willow Smith.

The Internet is ablaze over the latest from Will and Jada Smith's progeny, following the music video release of her hit single "Whip My Hair." Willow released the unarguably catchy song a few months ago, and shortly thereafter was signed by Jay-Z to his Roc Nation record label. This week her single got an equally stylish and modern video (directed by Ray Kay, who also did Lady Gaga's first vid), and there's nary a blog or website that hasn't highlighted the young Smith's talent. She's garnering comparisons to Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Madonna, and Beyonce...all before her 10th birthday.

No doubt Willow was famous before she was whipping her hair. As the youngest child of Will and Jada, Willow has been gracing the red carpet since the womb (literally). There was her supporting role in dad's blockbuster film I Am Legend, and more recently her daring red carpet fashion choices. Who can forget that leopard outfit?

To be clear, there are no free meals in the Smith household -- all the kids collect their own checks. Eldest Trey is actually the "quietest" of the bunch, career-wise, having set aside flirtations with modeling and music. Next up is Jaden, who just had his first starring role in The Karate Kid and also has hip-hop aspirations. Now it's fashion-forward Willow's turn.

Read more over at TheGrio.com...

Friday, October 15, 2010

Prayers Answered: Best Burgers Ever Are Coming To Manhattan


First of all, giving honor to God, who is the head of my life...

Jesus knows I love Bobby's Burger Palace. He knows because I tell him so, and because they are awesome, and because my Yelp review of the place:

I'm going to start a Yelp list called "Food I Will Travel and Slay Gorgon's For" and at the top will be BBP.

Seriously. My sister was moving from Philly, and I volunteered to help her move specifically so I could go to BBP. It is that serious.

I am a turkey burger connoisseur, and beyond a doubt it is the best turkey burger I've ever had. They are so deliciously meaty and seasoned, every time I taste I ascent to 7th heaven.

And the black and white milkshake?? I die. Divine.

I might start a moving business in Philly and accept BBP turkey burgers and milkshakes as payment. I have no shame. They are that good.

Needless to say, the fact that Bobby Flay is scouting NYC for a future BBP location is like a prayer that I never prayed being answered. Its a small miracle for voracious turkey burger connoisseurs such as myself. It is the single most greatest thing to have happened in my life in the past 30 minutes. Thank you Bobby Flay. And God, without whom none of this would be possible.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

An Open Letter to Dumb Celebrities

Carl Paladino, asshole politician

Dear all media personalities who have, are considering, and one day will say something racist, sexist, homophobic, insensitive, and/or ignorant;

No doubt you have found yourself in an awkward situation. You have just spoken your mind, and said something really dumb. However before you think about using your minority friend as a defense for your ignorance, do me a favor - don't. We do not care if you have friends you golf with who are black, if your high school best friend was Jewish, if your banker is Asian, or even if your wife is one quarter Latino. Having friends of the offended group does not expunge you from responsibility for your ignorance.

I’m sure at this point, overconfident media personality, you’re thinking – why I’d never do that! That’s a stupid excuse to be ignorant!

Read more at The Loop21!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

REEEEPEAT!!! Katy on A Mission



This. Right here? Is my. Jam.

The drum beat: crazy

The bassline: Sick (and super familiar)

The melody: Awesomely admirable and catchy.

So who is Katy B? And what is this song crazily addictive?

Katy B is a young girl (her wiki is vague about age, maybe early 20s?) out of the U.K. who's gaining a reputation as one of the primary female voices in dubstep. For the uninitiated (including me) dubstep is a genre of electronic music originating out of the U.K. and birthed out of the tradition of UK grime, garage, and drum and bass. Dubstep songs are characterized by heavy basslines, reverberant drum patterns... and repetition. I've heard dubstep DJ'd at some parties, and it often feels like the type of music best enjoyed under the influence of drugs, alcohol, and depression. It can be very dark.

That's why what's going on now in UK dubstep is very exciting. Artists are innovating and evolving the sound to be more accessible (and commercially viable), and Katy B is at the forefront of that movement. She dabbles in all types of UK underground sounds (often the only girl in the room), and is quickly becoming a force both underground and commercially. Katy B linked up with big time dubstep producer Banga for this track, which went to #5 on the UK singles chart, and #1 on the dance after it's release in August.

Naturally, a fan was born when I was introduced to this track. Katy B's voice is soulful, yet doesn't pander, like some other UK chicks in love with the soul sound (coughjossstonecough). This song to me is the perfect smorgasborg of house, bass, dance, and soulful sounds. It's got a lil' something for everyone!

That bass beat, which I just knew was a sample, kinda is/isn't, only because its a prevalent bass line pattern in the dubstep scene. If anyone can name the exact song that popularized this beat, please let me know, cause my google efforts were nil.

I set it and forget it on this joint. Like she says "This right here I swear will end too soon..." Partake!

Get it Together Greek Life: Hazing is Bullying


Imagine if, while interviewing for a coveted position, you were told that you'd have to be beat in order to get the job.

Or if, after joining an after-work sports league, someone told you there would be a "jumping in" ceremony.

These situations are unthinkable and unlikely, and yet this is what happens across the national annually when many Black Greek Letter Organizations (BGLO) intake members.

'The New York Times' recently ran an article chronicling the legal woes of Sigma Gamma Rho stemming from allegations of hazing. In January, six members were arrested and charged with aggravated hazing at a Rutgers chapter of the sorority, after a pledge reported that she had been struck 200 times over seven days. More recently a former San Jose State student filed a civil lawsuit against their chapter of Sigma Gamma Rho after participating in their violent hazing process. The plaintiff, Courtney Howard, was beaten with wooden paddles and spoons, with the explanation being "it was supposed to be so you can feel what your ancestors went through in slavery, so you will respect what you came from,” Howard told the 'New York Times'.

Read more at TheLoop21.com!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Stop Looking At My Moms - The Music Video


Well, straight from your kid, it's the single mother's anthem. I appreciate the little guy's stance (lord knows how offensive it must be to see your mom get hollered at, on the occasion I saw men hit on my mom it def creeped me out) but this line: that's my mother/she look so young/you would think I was her brother. Well that line just says it all.


Buuut... I think this kid is cock blockin. I'mjussayin. His mom ain't getting nan after this track.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Real Headline: Squirrels Refuse Medical Care


This is a real headline. In The Washington Post.
A person called Animal Control about an injured squirrel on the sidewalk.
An Animal Control officer tried to examine the squirrel, but it jumped up and ran up a tree. The officer said the squirrel was probably not seriously injured. Another squirrel was spotted on the sidewalk nearby, and it did not move when the officer approached.
It was taken to the Animal Welfare League for examination, but upon arrival, the squirrel became alert and resisted attempts to be handled.
(read the story on TWP website here)

And this is news in our nation's capital. Thank you to the intrepid journalists of The Washington Post for sharing that revealing expose on the medical habits of squirrels. Perhaps they were uninsured??

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Campaign To End The Bathroom Self-Portrait


Enough is enough people. ENOUGH.

I have seen one too many Facebook profile photo and self-aggrandizing albums filled with people photographing themselves in front of their shower, toilet, dirty ass tub, grungy shower curtain, and public bathroom stall. The madness must stop.

Isn't the irony apparent? I don't care how fine you look, if your breasts are spilling out your top like Niagara Falls, or if your abs are as defined as the Oxford Dictionary, you are still taking a photo in a bathroom. A bathroom ya'll!

I've been in a house with a million dollar toilet (*coughkimoracough*) but it doesn't detract from the fact that is a receptacle in which to piss and shit. There is no such thing as a sexy bathroom self-portrait.

This is an epidemic that needs to be addressed, but I can't do it alone. I need your help. We need a movement, a campaign to end the bathroom self-portrait. The next time you glance yourself in the mirror and think to capture that "sexiness" in a self-portrait, stop yourself, and consider the other options:
1. A bedroom mirror
2. A toaster reflection
3. Asking a friend to take the picture for you

If nothing else, for the love of God, just get out of the bathroom.


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

REEEEPEEEAT: D'angelo & Bilal

Remember this dude D'Angelo? He had this awesome naked music video, then he lost his shit and became a crackhead. But he's back! And on Mark Ronson's new album "Record Collection," which is awesome and I'm going to go see Mark in concert next week so cue your jealousy... now.



Sad thing is, when I heard this track, though I loved it, I had forgotten what D'Angelo sounded like. Is it Cee-lo? Is it Bilal? Nope, it's just the hardness of life wearing on vocal chords. But speaking of Bilal, here's one of his songs from the excellent "Airtight's Revenge" that is also on repeat. I sincerely have these two songs on a playlist by themselves, it is that serious. Partake!



PS - I keep thinking Bilal is saying "cruel on the outside hot in the middle," which to me is actually a very accurate definition of love, but I googled. Its not.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

NYC Is Your Shady Boyfriend You Can't Break Up With

I recently was in a conversation with someone about how great New York is. More specifically, this person was gushing about how in love she was with the city, how everyday she’s just happy to be here, how she calls her mom on a regular basis and talks about how awesome this city is.

I knew something wasn’t right.

“How long have you lived here?” I asked.

“Oh I just moved here four months ago.”

I had to bite my tongue from telling her she was in the Honeymoon period.

Living in NYC is like deciding to get into a relationship with someone who might just be a hoe. You know, that real popular dude everyone knows, and he’s real fine, but you’ve got this sinking feeling that this dude NYC has a fear of commitment, and may have an STD or two. BUT, there’s always the chance that he doesn’t.

So you decide to give it a shot. I mean hell, how many times doesn’t the finest most popular dude on the block want to get exclusive with you?

And at first it’s like a straight up fantasy. I mean, NYC knows all the right things to say, it seems like you guys have endless things in common, and he knows the coolest people. Ya’ll stay up late on summer nights, checking out parties and bars, riding trains into the wee hours of the morning, making awesome glam facebook albums to show off your new love. This is me and NYC, getting into an exclusive club! Me and NYC out to dinner with friends! NYC so silly, we riding bikes through central park!

It’s like the good times will never end. But of course they always do.

All of a sudden, NYC starts getting real shady. Like how come every time I call you you act like you don't have cell phone reception? Shit, I’m pretty sure you sent me to voicemail once or twice! Why come we don’t go out anymore? You doorman connect is acting real shady, what's he saying I’m not on the list? And NYC, your friends… they're getting tired. I go out and see the same people, doing the same things, and we're all faking like we’re living the life, but our eyes look dead with boredom.

And for the love NYC, since when did you get so cheap on me?? Dang, I used to be able to make ends, but all of a sudden I feel like you’re nickel and diming me, on rent, on a metro pass, on a cab ride, on a meal… come on dude! You’re prices keep going up and my salary keeps staying the same!

So we’re at the crossroads. I don’t know NYC. I feel like you’re not even trying anymore. Or maybe you’re trying to force my hand, make me break up. But I can’t quit you! Can I? I mean, I don’t want to look like a quitter, and lord knows breaking up with you gives the reputation that I just couldn’t hang.

But just when you think you've given all you've got, and you're ready to call it quits, NYC does something to surprise you. He gives up his seat to a pregnant lady on the train. He gives you a randomly warm day in the middle of the winter. He takes you to this really cool restaurant you've never been to before, and you realize that's why you like him - NYC is always reinventing himself, always finding new ways to make you fall in love all over again.

Monday, October 4, 2010

A Day in the Life of A Swedish Pop Star


I love Robyn. Love love love her. How much? Well, the mini-mixtape I made earlier this year? She was on two of the songs. Then there was the post about her performance on Live Skavlan (yea, I don't know what that is, but its a good watch). Needless to say, if you fuck with me, then you fuck with Robyn. I just find her oddness and crooked teeth fascinating. To be a swede!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Aziz Ansari does R. Kelly



So many quotables, so little time.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Woman Seeks Baby To Breastfeed



I know, that is crass. I get away from myself sometimes.

But breastfeeding burns up to 500 calories a day?! Well I'll skip over that 9 months of pregnancy and go straight to the breastfeeding ma'am.

Related: Why does this commercial look cheap and fake? What's up with that awful techno in the background?

Finally: I've developed some creepy patterns on my blog related to marriage, dating, porn, religion, and babies. Expect a monster truck post soon.

Monday, September 27, 2010

How To Procrastinate - The Movie



Happy Monday. As a frequent procrastinator, I've written on the proper way to procrastinate before, however I'm proud to present "Procrastination: The Movie." Unfortunately I cannot claim this work as my own (credit goes to Johnny Kelly), however it is brilliant, and summarizes how Mondays tend to work in the lives of millions of people across the world.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Whale's Hard Knock Life Ends in San Diego Projects


Ok, So kinda not really. But kinda!

A killer whale died Tuesday afternoon at SeaWorld, prompting the cancellation of whale shows at the park, officials told 10News.

According to SeaWorld officials, trainers noticed that the whale named Sumar was not feeling well on Monday. Veterinarians were notified and blood samples were taken.

Despite being given antibiotics, Sumar's condition worsened Tuesday and he was declared dead shortly before 1:45 p.m., park officials said.
(via 10news.com)

C'mon son, we all know this whale committed suicide. Sumar's mother attacked him when he was just a calf, so they had to be separated and he was basically raised an orphan. To make matters worse, guess who Sumar's daddy was?? Tilikum, the orca who put the "killer" in "killer whale," most recently killing a trainer in Orlando back in February. For the record, this was his third homicide!! However Sea World officials keep him on because he's a male whale good for impregnating the ladies.

I've been obsessed with Tilikum since his February murder, and I swear every captive whale drama can be traced back to that mofo. But even prior to that my opinion of captive sea mammal attractions and amusement parks like Sea World soured when I saw the documentary The Cove. The film focuses on the particularly inhumane and corrupt kidnapping and murder of thousands of dolphins in an area in Japan, and if you watch it you will never go to Sea World or anything like it again. The things we humans do to other animals for entertainment. It's just plain cruel.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Human Pac Man Game



The best part about this is the guy singing all the music. Hilarious!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

World's Smallest Cow

I am OBSESSED with small versions of real life things. I've always been like that - as a kid I had a dollhouse, and even though I never played with it, it was still in my possession. One of my favorite places to visit was Tivoli's Miniature World, which is basically small versions of real life monuments and tourist attractions. It is as breathtaking and exciting as it sounds, so I hate to crush your world and tell you that it closed a few years back, but I had to catch you before you booked those tickets to Niagara Falls to visit right away.

Anyways. I want this cow.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Twenty Something, Unmarried, and OK


I am in my twenties, an age in which media has been fascinated recently. New York Times Magazine recently did a multiple page article titled "What is it about 20 Somethings?". Apparently our problem is that we're not growing up as fast as previous generations, creating another stage in development being called "emerging adulthood." Of the five milestones sociologist mark as the transition to adulthood, one of the stages my generation tends to struggle with the most is marriage.

I myself am single, which is fairly common for a person in their 20s. This is pretty well known in my family. I don’t hide it, nor do I feel ashamed.

However amongst the many mysteries of time and space that occur after you turn 25, I have come to believe that my “single-ness” is now starting to make my family uncomfortable. Specifically, they want me to get married.

Read more HERE!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Settling The Pop vs. Soda Debate


Pop wins by a landslide!!

via popvssoda.com





Friday, September 17, 2010

Win Friends and Influence People - Review a Strip Club

 If you want to win friends and influence people you should review a strip club. People love that. I reviewed a Bronx strip club on Yelp, and my online gangster has increased by leaps and bounds. See the hype below.


So, this is a departure from my usual yelping... but what can I say, I am a fan.

Now first, a disclaimer - I too, as a woman, was shocked and appalled upon being notified on my 1st visit that the cover was $30. $30?!?! Dear ma'am, I am a lady! I do not pay for the club whatsoever! Do you know how cute I am? How finely I am dressed on an evening such as this? The gall!

Me and my friends negotiated down to $20 per person, and after a very thorough frisk, we gained entry into the club. Once I was in, it dawned on me - being a girl in the strip club is like bringing sand to the beach. No wonder they were charging girls the same as guys (and I wouldn't be shocked if they charged ladies more) - this place is brimming with naked beautiful women, and the odds of me "making it rain" in this establishment is slim to none. So my presence is inconsequential at best, and a burden at most.

Once I figured out that this is probably one of the only places in NYC where being a cute girl won't get you far (that and the gay clubs), I settled in and had a great time tossing other men's money at the girls. Cause that's right, I ain't got no stripper dollas. And I might be triffling enough to pick up a few bills and stuff them into my own bra. Times is rough.

That said, I've been here for two different birthday parties and had a great time. I've found that if you are nice to the girls, they are nice to you, and the cocktail waitresses are always really friendly and fun. Plus these girls have talent! The tricks they do are amazing, it's like a hip hop cirque du soleil!

But be 'ye forwarned - bring plenty of cash, as their atm charges an astronomical $20 fee. WTF. That's my one complaint - they are truly wildin' on that tip.


Read about more crap I like HERE.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Murakami takes on Versailles


I love this. Artist Takashi Murakami was comissioned to create works for France's famed Ch√Ęteau de Versailles. See more photos HERE.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Black, Female, and Without God



It was her freshman year of college that Jeanetta Smith came to the conclusion that there was no God. "I started taking a Philosophy course and when the subject of God came up, I honestly didn't even know it was up for debate. The notion of there being 'no God at all' just completely threw me for a loop," 19-year-old Jeanetta explains. "But eventually, my mind broadened and I began to listen. For me, everything just made more sense without a God."

As Jeanetta began to explore her new beliefs she started a YouTube channel to give voice to a nearly invisible population of atheists -- African-American females. Jean's Take is a web series where Jeanetta openly discusses her beliefs with other YouTube users. Her channel has grown in popularity and now has over 2,000 subscribers. Yet despite her outspoken views online, there was one important group of people who didn't know about Jeanetta's beliefs - her parents.

"I really was unsure of how I would bring it up. I was thinking something along the lines of 'The next time she asks me if I want to go to church with them, I'll break it to them right then & there.' I always ended up chickening out though," Jeanetta said.

She never got the chance to break the news herself. Instead, in her most popular YouTube video, Jeanetta shares the story of how her mother found out she was atheist via Facebook, and the subsequent silent treatment she had to endure while her mother dealt with the shock.

Read more HERE!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Mark Ronson Talks New Album



I'm not a huge fan of branded interview content, however I have a deep and abiding love for Mark Ronson, and this well executed video that gives insight into his creative process. For those who don't know Mark, he's responsible for the award winning sounds of Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen, and Wale. His second album, Version, went 3x platinum in the UK. Stateside you can anticipate his 3rd studio album, Record Collection, in September.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Happy Monday: Muppet Names


A little bit of nostalgia to start your week (even though you should have the day off). The Muppets were ruined for me when Nickelodeon aired a special on how they operate behind the scenes. Sure I was 14, but it was still at WTF moment.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Question of the Day: When is a "date" a DATE?

photo via deviate-ny.com
Recently I got into a debate of what constitutes a date. My personal rule - if he didn't pay, it's not a date. Now I know that sounds kind of gold digger-ish, but I sincerely believe if a man is not willing to spend some cash on you when first meeting/interacting with you, please do not assume his intentions to be anymore than friendship. And this isn't to say that a generous man won't pay for a meal with a friend every now and again, but most men I know guard their cash like a dog to it's bone.

That said, I know other people who think a simple kick-it session, like meeting up at a party or chilling at the house, is a "date." So what is a date? Is it determined by intention? Money? Does the definition vary by gender? And could you accidentally go on a date with someone and not know it?

Bonus question: for same sex daters, how does that work out?? I have the cozy benefit of old (outdated) and deep seated gender rules, but how does it work when you're gay or lesbian?

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Glen Beck Restored Honor... To what exactly?



Similar to how crazy extremist Christians make it hard for others openly profess their religious beliefs, these narrow minded peeps make it hard to be an American. If they wanted to seceded from the union, I would enthusiastically support. Take the Dakotas. Ain't nothing going on over there.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Good News: Your Happy Meal Will Last the Apocalypse


Who doesn't love a happy meal? Not only is it timelessly classic meal, it apparently can also stand the test of time. Literally. NYC artist Sallie Davies bought a happy meal five months ago, set it out, and promised to take a picture of it everyday until it basically went bad. The scary part? McDonald's Happy Meals don't go bad. More than 100 days later the burgers and fries basically looked the same, if only a bit dehydrated. Gross.


(via http://thejailbreak.com/)

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Confession: I'm a Christian


I’m a Christian. It’s true. This can actually be a difficult thing for me to announce in mixed company. Of course at church, when I’m assaulted at my left and right by questions like “have you been baptized in the holy spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues?” or “are you a member of this church?” I have to fight the urge to point out that not only did I know all the words to all the songs and closed my eyes when I sang, I also put my little blue envelope in the bucket and took detailed notes during the sermon. Of course I’m a Christian, duh.

But in mixed company, around cool people who might say things like “universal spirit” or “The Law of Attraction” I might resort to a more demure painting of my life in Christ – specifically that trendy saying “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual.” Whatever that means.

Read more HERE!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Dino Post of the Month: Rex in The City


I would have rather paid to see this than S&TC2. That movie was the worst fan fiction ever.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Marcel the Shell (with the shoes on)


MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

you know, not that other Marcel the shell. Nasty joker goes barefoot.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Subconscious DJ Song of the Morning: Bed Intruder

My subconscious is DJ, and these are songs that either a. I hear in my dreams, b. get randomly stuck in my head in the morning, c. pop into my head after a poignant moment. It rarely makes any sense how these songs come about in my head, but its always entertaining to go crate digging with my subconscious.


I am embarrassed and appalled that this song has been stuck in my head for the past 24 hours. What does it mean brain, what does it mean???

I'm in Ikea, looking at crappy furniture... "hide yo kids, hide yo wife..."
Grocery shopping in LES... "they climbin' in yo windows, they snatchin' yo people up..."
I'm in my apartment, cooking breakfast... "and hide yo husband, cause they rapin' everybody out here"

The horror. The absolute horror of having the song looping in your head like some bad elevator music. I know this video (in internet years) is hella old, but I'm hoping maybe this earworm is like The Ring, or a bad chain letter, and maybe if I share it with other people I will be freed from this aural prison and the song will go on to torment someone else with it's catchy lyrics.

In the meantime, I guess I will continue to hide my kids, my wife, and my husband. Hell, they rapin' errybody out here.

Have you ever had a really bad song stuck in your head?? Any good earworm cure suggestions?? Help. Me.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Happy Friday: Male Pole Dancing



I would totally rain dollars on this man.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Seen From Around the Hood

Random signs from my ventures in BK... political art is everywhere :)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Church Aisle Dance Battle


Ok, so he's not really battling anyone, but perhaps he's battling the holy spirit for attention?? Because if he was at my church, I def would have lost it.

This video already is well over a million hits, but in case you missed it...

I mean the bible does say that the Lord loves a cheerful giver, but dang. If you go to the Youtube source of this video, dude is actually in a bunch of videos dancing in church. Get it how you live,  I suppose.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Clips From Around The Web: Montana Fishburne Wants To Do Porn, and That's (kinda) Ok.

Something needs to be said for Montana Fishburne, daughter of actor Laurence Fishburne, and newly minted porn star (in case you live under a tightly secured rock). I’m just not exactly sure what that something is.

As a woman and a feminist and a liberal, I instinctively want to defend Montana’s rights to brazenly promote her sexuality. I’m not a huge fan of porn, and I don’t agree with her chosen avenue of pursuing “fame” (an entirely different and disturbing conversation about the fame trends in our society is needed here). But I do think women catch a lot of flack for having any type of sexuality not easily cordoned by our patriarchal society.

I’ve always been annoyed by the double standard that exists between a man’s sexuality, and a woman’s sexuality. Men can be admired for their shameless sexuality, but women have to be “ladies in the streets but a freak in the bed.” Women have to hide their sexual nature, and men don’t.

Read more HERE!

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