Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Nerd Alert: Every Website Has A Song To Sing

Code Organ is this cool odd website where you can punch in any url, and they have some sort of fancy algorithm that analyzes your page then composes a song based upon its content. I put in A Wink and A Gun of course, and was a little perturbed at the drums, though I appreciate the horns (how did they know I love horns??). Gon' head and distract yourself at work (or on the couch, as your non-employment may be) with some website compositions.

Listen to the Code Organ's take on A Wink and A Gun here, and play with some of your own urls there.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Diplo Does NOLA

This is the pilot episode from Diplo's "No One is Safe", a new series on Current, and it actually looks quiet decent, or should I say MAD decent (pun!). I must admit, I'm always sort of... given pause by certain majority's obsession with certain minorities music (and always wondering when tejano music is going to get its moment in the sun - queremos bailar!), but we're going to keep it light and instead point out that Diplo is an amazing DJ and if you don't sweat out your perm at one of his parties you're obviously doing something wrong.

Bounce music def takes me back to freshman year at HU, when I first learned how to "monkey on a stick" and "walk it like a dog," solidifying my love for dirty south music, so it was nice that he featured the genre in the pilot episode. Also, I'm obsessed with New Orlean's accents. Ayy behbeh!!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Learn to Be Angry Like Zack Galifinakis

My love for Zach Galifianakis stems from about 3 things:
1. His facial hair. First and foremost, it is unrivaled in it's ribald awesomeness. One day I will write a post about my obsession with red heads (they are like magical unicorns to me), and then the next I will write about my obsession with facial hair, and then you will understand why ZG is the holy grail of facial hair.

2. He does very straight faced humor, which I love. He has a flair for the absurd.

3. His ability for unmitigated rage. Rage is probably one of the funniest emotions, imho. As someone who has been accused of being pessimistic, I'd say I'm only bitter because it makes me laugh. I had a coworker who taught me to be angry properly and it involves lots of hyperbolic threats, like ripping someone's intestinal track out through their mouth, Mortal Kombat "finish them" style. My little brother even has a penchant for absurd anger, known to threaten to "break your house up" if you cross him. If you're going to get angry, at least let someone laugh at your expense on the way there.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Good News About Bad News

Back in summer 2009, some jerks who probably didn’t have to worry about money coined the phrase “funemployed,” because when you’re loaded getting fired from your job just gives you more time to work on your tan. Talk about a “look on the sunny side” ethic. Here’s some other ways to turn bad news into good news.

1. It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, I just want to give other people the chance to experience your awesomeness.
2. It’s not your baby, but you got a free trip to the Maury Show!
3. Yes it is your baby, but hey, you got a free trip to the Maury Show!
4. 25 to life? Imagine all the interesting people you’ll meet.
5. Yea you put on weight, but think of all the money you’ll save on the heating bill!
6. Yes it’s terminal. But now you can finally start chipping away at that bucket list.
7. Sure you got your ass kicked, but look at all the blood you got on his clothes, you totally ruined his Ed Hardy shirt, win!
8. We didn’t want to fire you, but we wanted to give you the chance to work on your blog.

Friday, April 9, 2010

The Art of Procrastination

Stage 1: Realize you have something to do. Yes, you have something very important to do.

But not now.

Now you must:
1. Get a snack.
2. Check your Facebook.
3. Check Your Gmail.
4. Check Your Twitter.
5. Check Your Favorite blogs.
6. Go to the Bathroom.
7. Check You Facebook.
8. Update your status to say "really busy!"
9. Give Someone's FB status the Thumbs Up.
10. Wish You Could Give someone the Thumbs Down.
11. Check Your Gmail.
12. Check Your Twitter.
13. See if there's any new posts on your favorite gossip blog.
14. Get a drink of water.
15. Vow to start working in five minutes...

Stage Two: Ok, play time is over, it's time to work. Let's be productive! Let's get it done!

So then you:

1. Work for five minutes.
2. Realize how much it sucks.
3. Decide you need motivation.
4. So you check your Facebook.
5. And email.
6. And Twitter.
7. And favorite gossip blog.
8. This is kinda work, right? Like we're looking for inspiration.
9. Ok no, lets get serious.
10. Work for 20 minutes. Wow! 20 whole minutes! You deserve a break.
11. Stretch.
12. Get a snack.
13. Check your email.
14. Open up sale emails, and start to shop online.
15. Check your bank account balance.
16. Go ahead and buy some of those things you saw online.
17. Gchat a friend and tell them what you bought.
18. Update your Twitter status to "Gettin' it done!"

Stage 3: Oh shit. The icy fingers of deadline are upon you.

1. Panic. How could I be so dumb?
2. Work frantically.
3. Plead with God.
4. Work frantically.
5. Contemplate the worse case scenario.
6. Work frantically.
7. Try to come up with a believable excuse as to why you are past the deadline.
8. Work frantically.
9. Promise God that if he helps you through this, you'll never procrastinate again.
10. Work frantically.
11. Fight back tears.
12. Work frantically.
13. Have a breakdown in the bathroom.
14. Work frantically.
15. Change your Gchat status to read "stressed out."

Stage 4: It is a Christmas Miracle. You have, by the grace of God alone, made the deadline. You were going to promise to never procrastinate again... but you forgot when you were updating your Twitter.

If you've read this whole post, congratulations, you have wasted a sufficient amount of time. As a reward, here's some more websites to visit so you can put off doing what you're really supposed to do.

Buzz Feed

LOL Catz
Superuseless Superpowers 

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Frank the Funkasaurus

Reasons why I love this video:

1. I love dinosaurs, but am particularly obsessed with T-rexes (the little arms!).
2. Alliteration wins me every time.
3. When I was little and would get upset, my sister used to make my stuffed animals dance around to make me feel better.
4. The scrolling fight that ensues at the bottom of the screen.

And I guess The Black Keys are ok too. We can get into a longer conversation about the changing face of soul music later.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Things I Can't Stop Staring At: The Ricky Martin Edition

In dedication to "teh gheys" for always capturing my eye.

This reminds me of a gay-er version of the "Brand New Day" scene in The Wiz, one of my favorite movies of all time.
Shout to for the amazing .gif (gift?)

Philippine's finest. Truth, the hook to this song is extremely catchy. If only I knew what he was saying.


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