Friday, September 17, 2010

Win Friends and Influence People - Review a Strip Club

 If you want to win friends and influence people you should review a strip club. People love that. I reviewed a Bronx strip club on Yelp, and my online gangster has increased by leaps and bounds. See the hype below.

So, this is a departure from my usual yelping... but what can I say, I am a fan.

Now first, a disclaimer - I too, as a woman, was shocked and appalled upon being notified on my 1st visit that the cover was $30. $30?!?! Dear ma'am, I am a lady! I do not pay for the club whatsoever! Do you know how cute I am? How finely I am dressed on an evening such as this? The gall!

Me and my friends negotiated down to $20 per person, and after a very thorough frisk, we gained entry into the club. Once I was in, it dawned on me - being a girl in the strip club is like bringing sand to the beach. No wonder they were charging girls the same as guys (and I wouldn't be shocked if they charged ladies more) - this place is brimming with naked beautiful women, and the odds of me "making it rain" in this establishment is slim to none. So my presence is inconsequential at best, and a burden at most.

Once I figured out that this is probably one of the only places in NYC where being a cute girl won't get you far (that and the gay clubs), I settled in and had a great time tossing other men's money at the girls. Cause that's right, I ain't got no stripper dollas. And I might be triffling enough to pick up a few bills and stuff them into my own bra. Times is rough.

That said, I've been here for two different birthday parties and had a great time. I've found that if you are nice to the girls, they are nice to you, and the cocktail waitresses are always really friendly and fun. Plus these girls have talent! The tricks they do are amazing, it's like a hip hop cirque du soleil!

But be 'ye forwarned - bring plenty of cash, as their atm charges an astronomical $20 fee. WTF. That's my one complaint - they are truly wildin' on that tip.

Read about more crap I like HERE.

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