Tuesday, October 5, 2010

NYC Is Your Shady Boyfriend You Can't Break Up With

I recently was in a conversation with someone about how great New York is. More specifically, this person was gushing about how in love she was with the city, how everyday she’s just happy to be here, how she calls her mom on a regular basis and talks about how awesome this city is.

I knew something wasn’t right.

“How long have you lived here?” I asked.

“Oh I just moved here four months ago.”

I had to bite my tongue from telling her she was in the Honeymoon period.

Living in NYC is like deciding to get into a relationship with someone who might just be a hoe. You know, that real popular dude everyone knows, and he’s real fine, but you’ve got this sinking feeling that this dude NYC has a fear of commitment, and may have an STD or two. BUT, there’s always the chance that he doesn’t.

So you decide to give it a shot. I mean hell, how many times doesn’t the finest most popular dude on the block want to get exclusive with you?

And at first it’s like a straight up fantasy. I mean, NYC knows all the right things to say, it seems like you guys have endless things in common, and he knows the coolest people. Ya’ll stay up late on summer nights, checking out parties and bars, riding trains into the wee hours of the morning, making awesome glam facebook albums to show off your new love. This is me and NYC, getting into an exclusive club! Me and NYC out to dinner with friends! NYC so silly, we riding bikes through central park!

It’s like the good times will never end. But of course they always do.

All of a sudden, NYC starts getting real shady. Like how come every time I call you you act like you don't have cell phone reception? Shit, I’m pretty sure you sent me to voicemail once or twice! Why come we don’t go out anymore? You doorman connect is acting real shady, what's he saying I’m not on the list? And NYC, your friends… they're getting tired. I go out and see the same people, doing the same things, and we're all faking like we’re living the life, but our eyes look dead with boredom.

And for the love NYC, since when did you get so cheap on me?? Dang, I used to be able to make ends, but all of a sudden I feel like you’re nickel and diming me, on rent, on a metro pass, on a cab ride, on a meal… come on dude! You’re prices keep going up and my salary keeps staying the same!

So we’re at the crossroads. I don’t know NYC. I feel like you’re not even trying anymore. Or maybe you’re trying to force my hand, make me break up. But I can’t quit you! Can I? I mean, I don’t want to look like a quitter, and lord knows breaking up with you gives the reputation that I just couldn’t hang.

But just when you think you've given all you've got, and you're ready to call it quits, NYC does something to surprise you. He gives up his seat to a pregnant lady on the train. He gives you a randomly warm day in the middle of the winter. He takes you to this really cool restaurant you've never been to before, and you realize that's why you like him - NYC is always reinventing himself, always finding new ways to make you fall in love all over again.


  1. I LOVE THIS!!!! As a person, thinking about moving to the big apple, this is a perfect description. I think you get these feelings with any new and exciting place, the excitement fades over time... Oh, well *kanye shrug*

    But New York is still dope...in pictures and on TV!

  2. I have wanted to move to NYC for quite a while and finally had the chance to visit a couple of weeks ago. I feel in complete love with that place! Even though NYC may love me and leave me, I am willing to take the chance of a broken heart for a few months of pure bliss.



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