I love this video more than David Gregory Dancing to Mary J. Blige. I love this video more that drunk Ewoks on the Today Show. I love this video more than the sneezing panda baby. It is THAT DEEP. Herein lies one of the best videos to hit the internet like, ever. I wish these two kids many talk show appearances and maybe a commercial.
Let's do a play by play, shall we?
0:06 Children are suspicious of moms recap recap - did we have fun? Fuck yea, we collected candy dressed up in costumes, what's not to love?
0:36 Eldest child is angry beyond words. Commence hissing. Perhaps contemplates cussing mom out.
0:56 Eldest child is voice of reason: "You could have came up and woke me up and asked me, I wouldn't care." True, little one, true.
1:10 It dawns on the little one: mom killed Halloween. He is incredulous. Surely this woman is playing a trick, no?
1:20 The eldest gets sarcastic, something to the affect of "kids can't get whiney" perhaps referring to a previous household dispute.
1:30 The little one is still in a state of disbelief - he searches for evidence of mother's wrongdoing.
1:55 The eldest is insulted by the concept of having had enough candy. Are you serious? He only had one bite, you evil wench. He resorts to more sarcasm. By his judgement, she will, most likely, have a belly ache.
2:16 Eldest kid:"Mom that's two" Mom:"Two what" Eldest kid:"Two bags of candy" True that, she went hard.
2:23 The little one takes the opportunity to flex his mathematically skills. "2+2 = 5!"
2:28 The older one "That's okay, it's really 4. Yo Jake, you were really close." And cue Josh Groban's "You build me up" for the best brothers moment in the history of Youtube.
2:42 The forgiveness begins. Mom reign it in next time, okay? Maybe just 2 or 3.
2:53 Mom: "You guys aren't mad at me?" The little one: "Not re re"
3:15 The little one can't let go of his investigation - but why mom? WHY?
3:31 The oldest one realizes this may have been a good thing - he already has a brownie addiction he's trying to overcome "I'm out of control." Knowledge is half the battle kid.
3:45 The oldest comes to the greatest revelation about Halloween - it's TOO MUCH. No one man should have all that candy.
4:01 At the revelation of her eating the peanut butter cups, it's all the evidence the little one needs - mom DID eat all that candy. You sneaky mom! More seething. Eldest is glad he cup his reeses in the night before.
4:21 The baby goes all "hulk mad" on mom.
4:38 Eldest, disturbed by his brother's anger, reopens the investigation: "This is a lie. Mom, there's no way you could eat two bags of candy."
5:59 Relief. That sneaky mom was only playing a trick.
Oh my ovaries. I'll take two please.