Wednesday, February 27, 2013

10 occasions in which you can legitimately say "started from the bottom now we here":

After climbing a flight of stairs
After changing a baby's diaper
After performing a Brazilian wax
After eating a snack from the wrong end of the package
While climbing out of a sewer 
While watching the temperature climb from 0 degrees Celsius
Whilst pulling on a pair of pants
While stirring a container of dannon "fruit on the bottom" yogurt (though technically, the honor goes to the fruit, not you)
After picking something up off the floor
After ascending socioeconomic classes from a level below the poverty line

Monday, February 25, 2013

Some Of My Favorite Internet Things

With narration - 
Cat: Ay yo, yo, yo, let me talk to you for a sec...
Dog: Wassup?... Wassup??

Which leads me to one of my favorite animal dubs of all time:

Thank you internet, i love you.

Friday, February 22, 2013

What Are You Waiting For? Get into this.

 I'm doing you a favor. Famous Farrah Ep 2.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I Am A Socially Awkward Penguin

Allow me to introduce you to the story of my life: socially awkward penguin.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Umm... Is This Racist?

I hate it when this happens to me: see something that's funny, but is also probably racist/classist/offensive in a inexcusable way.

So naturally, this Alexander Wang video starring Bon Qui Qui has really thrown me for a loop.

If just all white people who cannot separate comedy and humorous caricature from real life please abstain from watching this video, that'd be extremely helpful.

For the rest of us, feel free to join in the laughs and subsequent guilt that follows.

And, if you have a cousin/sister/personality similar to Bon Qui Qui, I want you to know that I respect you, and your life and lifestyle is not a joke. But maybe rapping isn't going to happen for you.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Porn That's SFW

The internet is full of people I want to be friends with.
Like the creators of Porn SFW. This. Is. The. Best.
More please and thank you.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

This Is For The Lover In You

 And, in case you feel like a cry:

Happy Valentine's Day.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


pretty much.

Sidebar: If you aren't receiving the Morning Funnies newsletter from Papermag, your inbox is garbage. 

Monday, February 11, 2013


I def was like, I want to be friends with Sasha.
I also probably weirded out Kimora Simmons when I worked on her show because I would talk to her about how much me and her daughter Aoki had in common (for the record, she's a lefty, and that's really important to me, as a lefty).  I really wanted to be Aoki's friend.
I mostly just love all second daughters, because we're hella turnt up a lot of fun (and get all the personality).

Friday, February 8, 2013

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A New Favorite Word


  1. Having a pleasantly sharp taste or appetizing flavor.
  2. Pleasantly stimulating or exciting to the mind.

Who knew I'd been living for this all along?

Monday, February 4, 2013

The Only Thing I Really Liked About The Superbowl

Let's be real people: I'm not watching the Superbowl.

First off, I don't really care for football. Call it a childhood traumatized by cheering for the Bills, only to watch them lose again, and again, and again (and again).
Also, I can't really see the player's faces, so I can't talk about who's hot and who's my new boyfriend, and who's my friend, and who's my enemy. 
If I'm going to watch a sport, I'm going to watch basketball, because I can tell who's my new pro-athlete boyfriend (haaay sefolosha!) and who seems like I went to high school with them and are really good friends of mines (the rest of the OKC), and who looks like a guy who I would go to my church (oh you mean Andrew Bynum, Deacon Bynum's son?).
 See? Basketball is way more interesting-er. 
Superbowl? I'm just here for the food, fellowship and commercials. 
And maybe the halftime show (though Beyonce truly vexes me). 

So, my faves:

RACHET-ASS OLD PEOPLE - AKA, me in 50 years

THE TRUTH ABOUT BABIES - knew it. Also, babies of all genus and species??? YES MY OVARIES. (However I think they did a shitty job actually promoting the car)

FISH SINGS BLACKSTREET - Um, it's a no-brainer.

**Ed Note: Oh, you thought I was gonna say Beyonce? Hahahaha. Not today son. Not today. 

Friday, February 1, 2013

How To Make Your Soul Grow

“Go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an an enormous reward. You will have created something.”
- Kurt Vonnegut

Via swissmiss


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