Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Sorry, Another Cat Gif



I just watched this like 10 times in a row.

Sorry I'm not sorry.

There's just so much going on here.

Also, some wonderful commenter recently questioned why no one comments on my blog. She reasoned it was for the haters, and 'lo, I am flattered, but nay, methinks haters of this blog I have not.

It's because I don't really write much anymore more? Or maybe I don't play the blogger game where I court visits and commenters?

In truth, this blog is a weird place, and I like it just fine like that.

In fact, whenever people tell me in person that they read/liked my blog, I get all weird and bejiggity, because hell, I like to pretend no one reads this thing. And if they do, they have the good sense to keep it to themselves, at least in the beginning.

Because once I know people are watching, shit changes.

Like, you ever gain a new follower on instagram, and then all of a sudden, you start thinking about that person before you post a photo, what they'll think, how they'll interpret it?

No?

Okay then fuck off.

I think of everything. As hard as I try not to. As hard as I try not to ascribe meaning to everything that happens online.

But alas. I prefer to pretend no one reads this blog*, because it's more honest that way.

This is my brain on the internet.

And ta da, writing.

There's my ass internet, enjoy.


*And maybe no one does. 

Monday, July 22, 2013

Basically


I ain't been shopping in a while (lie: I need not to have been shopping in a while), but I KNOWS this feeling.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Tabby Cat or Rock Star?



Seriously, do you guys ever take the time to thank God for the internet? This right here is a true blessing.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Reasons Why I Might Be Turning Into Kanye West


1. I seriously think that my presence is a present. Whenever I go to an event for my friends, I dress cute and then tell them "I dressed cute for you. You're welcome."
2. I've started cataloguing items for my signature collection. As of right now, I have a signature cookie (dancing deer molasses clove) and lighting (ikea) and drink (coco bulls (TM pending))
3. I'm always interrupting people, like persistently
4. I am seeking a partner who can fulfill my shallow accessorizing needs - like i really just want a clean palate of a man so i can dress him and style him in ways I see fit (read: male amber rose)
5. I have delusions of grandeur. This has been an ongoing issue since birth.
6. I'm always trying to make it clear to people that they don't really know me.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

What Kind Of Bro Are You?

Via NPR


I really want to be like Brody Jenner, but I'm probably more Ben Affleck. Or at my worse, Ryan Lochte.

Monday, July 8, 2013

I Can't Stop Watching This

This fucking bunny better get them dollas!


 So she can get her bachelor's degree.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Watch Me Twerk To Juicy J*





Real talk, when I'm home alone, this is is me all up in my mirror like WOAH.


*wait, you forreal thought I'd post a twerking video?? log off you simp

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Oh Hai.

Yea yea, my posting streak ended in May.
My multitasking skills are non-existent, so while you were pining for my excellence, I was building selfieportrait.me.

Meanwhile...




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