Thursday, September 19, 2013

@champagnepapi strikes again

I know late last night when you were scrolling IG because you were getting ready for bed or procrastinating from doing what you were really supposed to be doing (as grown folks are want do), your thumb briefly came to rest on this image:


And I know your were confused. Overcome by feelings of unrest and anxiety, you contemplated the obvious:

What the fuck is that shirt?
Why are his lips pursed like that? 
Is A$ap a deacon in the church? 

This is a picture that begs you to question your defense of Drake, your tireless effort, repeating like a mantra "yea he's emo, but you can't argue that his music isn't good!"

It baits you. clown him. Clown Him. CLOWN HIM.

These feelings are not unfamiliar to me. I too have thought these thoughts, felts these things.

Lo, a revelation on high released me from my anxiety: We are being trolled.

Yes, America, what you are witnessing is an expert social media and marketing plan based in the hallowed tradition of "lunchin" "clownin" "Goin in" "ribbin" et. al.

Drake wants us to clown him. This is a set up.

That album cover alone I mean... come on. You can't be serious.

That heartfelt performance at the VMAs. Breh.

That photoshoot for GQ. Like really doe?

And THOSE PURSED LIPS. *no words*

This, people, is how you troll your way to a billion dollars.

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